Food For Thought: Give it a go

Here is yet another ‘philosophical go’ to the discovery of what the ‘truth’ is and what really does matter in the practical world. There is a difference between the two of them that is, truth is not necessarily important while what really matters is the practical details that are socially or widely accepted, that actually matters while, just for the opinion’s sake, locals rather go with the flow, they would rather do what is normal in the society and without caring about the harm that will mount the society by following that popular trend, that popular norm.

We do not really want to confuse ourselves by bringing a change because we know that we do not have the iota of strength to bring change for example (as a mass communication student it is easier to quote political example while it is not really related to the topic), when Imran Khan promises to the people of Pakistan that PTI will shoot down drones once it comes in power, the people do not readily believe the details especially the politically conscious ones because America sort of controls what goes in Pakistan and people of Pakistan depress themselves by thinking that we have no strength to stand up for ourselves, we are puppets, which is sad to think as a sovereignty, as a republic. So if someone wants to bring a huge change, we think of what is widely accepted that becomes our first priority in order to ease the judgment of the circumstances.

Similarly, when a land of pure has so much dirt in it, we cannot bring about change without getting our hands dirty or (politically speaking) without getting threatened about our lives, without putting our lives in jeopardy. If we think of only community based problems we would not be able see much difference, we cannot bring about change or a girl cannot bring change without getting her hands dirty.

What is widely accepted versus the truth is the dilemma, the catch 22, the ‘no-win situation’. When I say a girl I mean a single girl going toward being married which is actually my topic. A single girl coming from a middle class family or a financially-challenged family (necessary for more trouble) going toward being married from single; the amount of burden on her for not bringing enough dowry, for not being able to afford the various marriage events that are the very norm is eternal. Here is the dowry of Bibi Fatima, daughter of Holy Prophet (S.A.W):

· “One Armor sold for 400 or 480 or 500 Dirhams.

· One pair of cotton Yemeni Gloves.

· Raw and untanned hide of a goat (Manaqib Ibn Shahre- Ashoob Vol. 3, p.351).”^[1]

We think it would be quite awkward to give a pair of gloves to the bride in 2012 which is not wrong considering how the world has changed but considering that the whole marriage institution has to be Islamic in every way possible but when it comes to the rights, we do not really care about what Islam says about humanity, we cuss the girl for not bringing enough dowry but she cannot even raise her voice saying where is Islam now? Although here is another side of the coin, some people might be wondering about the ‘mehr’ issue, sometimes the girl’s family decides a huge amount for mehr which in turn is a burden for the husband.

We are too busy in self aggrandizement that we forget about the two young people who are frightened out of their wits just to think of the amount of expense that the simple institution of marriage will bring (which does not necessarily have to if done in a proper way). What is more infuriating is the divorce ratio going up due to the girl being financially weak (concentrating on the ‘girl aspect’). What is more annoying then to kick a woman out with her kids in the middle of the night just because she was not financially strong? Here is a piece of advice for the ‘aggressive, antagonistic, self-righteous, holier-than-thou’ people out there: Once you ruin someone’s youth, once you ruin someone’s present which will haunt them by being their damaged past, you cannot bring their time back for them, you cannot bring their happiness back, you cannot bring their past back to life to redo your mistake because in life you do not get a ‘do-over’, it is one time deal so try accepting a poor girl too, here is your food for thought for the day.

Dedicated to my mother, for you my tears are abundant for yours are priceless.